very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
