I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
