I could make wine with my vomit
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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