We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
