Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
