break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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