I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
