I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
