this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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