Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i now understand why vodka
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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