I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
