Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The Olympian is in my bed
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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