Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
