Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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