In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
