She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
