Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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