I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
