I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
