Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
