I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
