you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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