Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
