My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
