so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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