She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
