you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
