big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
