My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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