So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
