brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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