Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
this boner is exhausting
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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