i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize