Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I fill condoms, not promises.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
