she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize