Swine flu is the new snow day.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
