okay pat passed out under dana's car
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
