why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
