how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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