I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
