South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
