there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just had sex on a roof
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
