we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
