Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize