Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
