Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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