She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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