Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
