I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
