What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize