STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
