SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
God, I missed his penis.
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