I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
