i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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