Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
