Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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