It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
did you just send me my own nude
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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