You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
