You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
