Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
never play flip cup with pint glasses
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize